Most days I make my own prayer.
I know quite a few from what we were taught at Sunday school but I still prefer my own.
For a long time now and on most good days, I used to begin with ‘Dear God’. Sometimes I would switch to Lord. Maybe it resonated better on those long and troubled days. I also thought that Lord was younger and cooler. God was more a senior citizen and played bingo with everyone. Though they both did the same job.
On odd zoned out days it’s mostly a Her. I then quickly change to Hello, respectfully. We’re just getting to know each other but on such days I’m almost lost in oblivion to go any further. Pointless. Then there are the days when I don’t know who I’m praying to and I just begin with ‘I’. Like “I think”, “I can’t”, “I’ve had enough” and so on. These are the impatient confusing angered days.
Often there are times when I’m muted. Either they’re all around or it’s just me. I find that rather calming that even they don’t interfere. Not that they get what I’m feeling cause I’m not really praying but I imagine them standing behind the doors and windows keeping it shut so that silence can enter.
Of late its been ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey’. We’re a little more familiar with each other now and it feels like we hangout after rehearsals or while I paint or just sometimes over some chilled milk.
I offered beer but he said it’s hard to lose the belly.